wedding poem in my head

This is a draft, right? Came as I was sitting, aimed at me at all angles, rhyme to the fore. I couldn't have ducked if I'd tried. But once I started to type it up the flow slowed, halted, muddled, muddied and my memory of the lines was less clear as well, so has really made me think again about returning to composing in my head, away from screens, boards, papers, wax tablets....... memory-weakeners:

Malc & Sue's wedding sonnet (draft 2)

Shall I describe you as some other couple

who've come to plight their troth this sunny day

or are you something else, are you both double

that - mature and wise and brave enough to say

yes this is person that I choose

to spend my life with: even though they see

my imperfections well, they don't refuse

but welcome them with love as part of me

yes - both say this so happily, turning to look

straight in each other's eyes, with love, delight

reading their partner like a favourite book

with which, though earthbound, they can now take flight

to explore life's offers openly, together

and share with us in rain and sunny weather.